Love it or hate it… V-Day is here. A day commercialized around pinks, reds, hearts and chocolate, with high hopes of expressing love. It’s the relationship status that passionately influences opinions about Valentine’s Day, but there is no denying, that February 14 comes tagged with high expectations.
There is plenty of pressure to be romantic and passionate, bubbly and light-hearted, even willing to set aside differences for the all famous cupid day. After all, it is the day, every relationship is put on a pedestal for measurement and close inspection.
What really sparks the magic of Valentine’s Day varies big from one couple to another. There is no “made to order” perfection in creating a perfect V-day, no matter how much time you invest. What I have found to be true in my happiest Valentine’s celebrations were not at all about the sparkle, glamour or the candy. The extra fluff is exciting and fun, but very temporal and short-lived. Superficial.
My husband and I have been married for a long time, practically my whole life, since high school, try 37 years of Valentine days. We have shared many great Valentine’s Days – this story will be a best seller one day :)). I will leave it at that for now, to give you some time to anticipate my book. It will be the one in the store window that says “the everlasting love story” with no dirty words. If you know me, you know I hate ugly language. I see it as a lack of skills to express yourself, laziness to find the right container to cradle your thoughts. My friend calls me a “Wordsmith”- a lover of words. I say, she knows me well. Words are everything, yet simply nothing, without action.
So what are the 5 best V-day gifts? This is my list:
1. Acceptance and respect for each other as an individual, as a partner, and in all things touching our lives.
2. Trust and forgiveness, it’s a rock foundation that must exist. We all need Grace & Mercy.
3. Recognition and support of knowing whats important to each other, making what to buy for each other as gifts easy, because you really know each other, you’re engaged in each others life.
4. Writing long cards and notes that are meaningful, not just words. Sharing sentiments that are real, raw and exposed. Just sitting down and listening to each other, really listening and not criticizing. Keeping your heart out there, open to keep filling up with more.
5. Keeping holidays, birthdays, important events highlighted with sentiments of celebration. Making dinner reservations every week and sharing turns at favorite spots. Making it all about the other person’s contentment.
A few things I learned a long time ago, no one can buy you happiness or support your happiness, no matter how magnificent, they are as a person. Set the backdrop for what makes you happy and notice what excites others. Identify in your mind what keeps you content.
I keep fresh flowers in my house all the time because flowers are special to me, so there is no pressure for V-Day flowers, My husband walks around and gathers fresh flowers from the roadside when we;re spending time in our mountain cabin, that’s 20 minutes from town. I like that, it makes me happy. So on Valentine’s day, a single bouquet of flowers would not make me excited, but a bouquet in several rooms could work.
You see the picture, I believe it’s the consistent gestures and engagement process that enables us to really know others, that keeps everyday special, not just Valentine’s day. Being a wife or a participate in a relationship is not just a label, it’s a responsibility to be involved in the details of that relationship from day-to-day.
I hope my list helped with your quest for the perfect and best gift. What are your Valentine plans?
Happy Valentine’s Day,